percentages

I was talking to a friend on shabbat about how the process works after you lose a parent. She described it in percentages. She said you are never 100% after it happens. During the Shiva you are functioning at a low percentage which slowly increases during the shloshim. She said for a long time you can function on 50 -60%, to the outside things look fine but there are no where near normal. The level at which you function may go up and down with time but according to no fixed pattern, good times and bad times. 

What stuck with me was the comment about never being 100% again. It reminds me of the comment I made to another friend when Aa was sitting Shiva, "of course he won't be the same, his father has just died". It's the same concept worded differently. It doesn't matter if it's the shiva, the shloshim, the year or any point after that - this will be with us for ever and my husband is never going to be the same again.