My little girl smiles and when she does she makes really cute baby gooing noises, then she pulls funny faces, then she smiles again and makes more noises. She looks around to see whats going on. She has big blue eyes that pull you in but the smiles and the face contortions and the noises are what I love right now.
My big boy starts school tomorrow. We had a met the teacher meeting today and he sat there spellbound, looking up and watching her. He couldn't sleep tonight because he is excited, he can't wait to put on his uniform tomorrow - he wanted to wear it today for the meeting in school.
The middle one. I took him to meet his new gannenet today. He walked in to gan and was overcome with shyness, he just wanted to hold my hand and stroke the baby but he settled in fine. We played with the lego and then he had a look around at some of the other stuff. He's got so big recently and he doesn't evven realise it. He has huge hands, feet, ears and head but he's still a very gentle and loving soft little 3 year old (ok, he's almost 4) I can see him being one of these physically very big people who are so soft and gentle.
New school year starts tomorrow, lets hope it's good for all of us.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Finality
I'm not sure that that is even a word but this is all about the end of things. I was at my father-in -law's stone setting on Sunday. Ithought it would seem more real afer I had seen where he is buried and actully had achance to say some sort of goodbye but it doesn't.
I still can't seem to get my head around the fact that he is gone. I'm writing this sitting at my mother -in-law's house and everywhere I look there are pictures of him, he just seems so full of life and joyfully alive that I can't quite equate that with a cold hard stone and a dead body. He absence is (obviously) much more noticable here. the way things would be different, the joy he would have in playing with his newest granddaughter. The huge gaping hole of things that are missing.
I thought it would be easier now. A year has passed and things change. I thought the stone setting would, after I had my chance to say goodbye would give me some kind of closure and whilst it may have, right now I'm too close to see it. I wrote in an earlier post that when my husband was away sitting shiva last summer I had no time to morn for my FIL as I was so worried about my husband and what he was going thorugh and me not being there with him adn all that guilt. Maybe that's why this is so hard or maybe it would be like this anyway.
I still can't seem to get my head around the fact that he is gone. I'm writing this sitting at my mother -in-law's house and everywhere I look there are pictures of him, he just seems so full of life and joyfully alive that I can't quite equate that with a cold hard stone and a dead body. He absence is (obviously) much more noticable here. the way things would be different, the joy he would have in playing with his newest granddaughter. The huge gaping hole of things that are missing.
I thought it would be easier now. A year has passed and things change. I thought the stone setting would, after I had my chance to say goodbye would give me some kind of closure and whilst it may have, right now I'm too close to see it. I wrote in an earlier post that when my husband was away sitting shiva last summer I had no time to morn for my FIL as I was so worried about my husband and what he was going thorugh and me not being there with him adn all that guilt. Maybe that's why this is so hard or maybe it would be like this anyway.
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