A memory

I opened the door and was surprised to see B here so late at night. He was out on the balcony and I turned to Aa to ask what he was doing here. I saw my husbands red eyes as he said, "my father has passed away". I dropped my bags were I was standing walked over and held him. His body shaking with tears, his arms clinging to me, my eyes welling up as I tried to comprehend what I had just been told.
Within a few short minutes he was leaving the house to go to his sisters. B had told me to pack a suitcase and make sure there were non-leather shoes in it. Then they were gone.

I went upstairs to try and begin packing. I called my parents who were both speechless, I called a close friend in London, his reaction was much the same. I called a friend here and told him, I explained that I needed to go over to ramot and could he babysit. He was over about 10mins later. During that time I also spoke to Aa, he told me not to come over, I ignored him.

I got to Ramot, saw his sister and gave her a hug, her tears were flowing freely. There was an atmosphere of disbelief but it could all be put aside by dealing with the practical sides of organizing flights and logistics. There were quite conversations with B out in the garden. Words of comfort and some practical advice. going upstairs with his Mum and taking the whiskey and the wedding presents she had that needed distributing. Eventually it was all sorted.

We came back home. We sat downstairs for a while, I made food for the flight (something has gone wrong so we must feed them - glad I had that to fall back on). Aa's bag got repacked in to something smaller. We went upstairs to "sleep" for a couple of hours. We all lay on beds wide awake until the designated get up time. Aa and his mum got dressed and when we saw B arriving downstairs to take them to the airport I said my good byes, hugged his mum and watched them leave.

I went back to bed knowing that I had to sleep because the boys would be up in a couple of hours. They woke up, I told them what had happened and sent them to a friend for the day. I went to Jerusalem to buy a book to tell me what I needed to know on a piratical level. and some stuff for our camping holiday. I was barely functioning but had to keep busy. I tried to sleep in the afternoon but couldn't. I picked up the boys and went to another friend. I got through the day.

The picture of those first few minutes will never leave me. The raw emotion, none of us knowing what to do next.

The shopping from the night before lay were I had dropped it when I came in for a few days.