When I got in, he hummed and hawed about what was going on with my insides and gave me some more drugs to take to help my ovulation. I came home and obviously looked it all up on line - just like I did 5 years ago when I was trying to get pregnant the first time.
It's different this time. I have 2 kids so I know I can get pregnant and don't get me wrong, I love them both and am so grateful for them but I want another one.
My best friend called me last week to tell me she is pregnant with her second. I'm really happy for her but part of me was wondering when I will get to make that phone call and when will I feel another life growing in me. I mention this friend because afterwards it made me think. She has been wanting to be married and have kids forever, she got married 2 1/2 years ago after seeing many of her friends get married, settle down and start families. I guess I never stopped to think what it was like for her watching everyone else do the things she wanted to be doing. I never thought about her pain or frustration at going to another wedding or celebrating someone else's good news without ever having the true joy and celebration of it being her good news. She watched her sisters get married and have kids, she was there when I got married and had my kids - I couldn't imagine it any other way. I would like to apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable or ignored your pain and thank you for always being there for me.
It's easy to think that you are the only person with problems and that everyone else is living a great life but life doesn't work that way. People work that way. One of the hardest things is to remember that things you see aren't always what is happening. I wish my friend an easy pregnancy and to anyone else who stumbles across my thoughts that you should get what you need and hopefully also what you want.
