Just had a crappy conversation with husband. We talked about our oldest doing a judo chug this year. Our son has been talking nonstop about this since the catalogue arrived a few days ago adn we were all set to sign him up and now my husband is starting to ask questions about if this is the right thing for him and should we be doing it this way and does he know what judo is. He left it as I don't want to talk about this over the phone.
We then moved on to our youngest who went to the doctor today for her to look at his ears. She recommended putting in gromits and said she can probably do it in the next month to month and a half. I was fine with this until I was relaying a conversation I had with my sister about it earlier where she basically had a go at me for going with this option and not having a second opinion or looking at other things. When I told my husband he also had a go at me for not looking at other options and said maybe we should do other things but he wasn't going to talk about it over the phone. My whole family has been telling me for ages to sort his ears out and when I finally do all I get is everyone telling me that I should have done something else and I'm not doing the best I can for my son.
Either I am making decisions or I'm not. For the last 2 weeks I've had to find it in me to carry on despite everything and yes I'm making choices. I understand my husband wants to be involved and should be but if a choice has to be made then I will make it. Does our son know what judo is?: I don't know but I know he's excited about it. Is there an option other than grommits? I don't know - I'm not a doctor.
Do I need the support of my husband and his confidence in me? of course I do. And yes I know that he is just looking out for what is best for our kids and he is beginning to re-engage in the rest of his life but tonight just crushed me. Maybe it's my hormones ( back on the injections again - estimated chance of success this month 0%, don't even know if we will be having any sex) or maybe it's me beginning to see that soon I will have my husband back and needing to let off some of the tension that's been building up for the last couple of weeks.
I think I'm coping and things are going as well as they can and then something happens and I'm back writing my blog with tears streaming down my face (something that seems to have become quite common recently).
I don't know what I need but I'd like it now please.
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