Tuesday, October 25, 2011

a topic we have left for a while

It hit me again today the enormity of my father in law passing away. I was doing something in the kitchen and out of nowhere it just hit me that we will never get to speak to him again or see him or share things with him. The strangest thing was how it just came out of nowhere today. In the past there has usually been some sort of trigger that reminds me (however indirectly) of him but that didn't happen today. I don't know if it's partly because my oldest has been talking about it a lot recently, asking questions especially about "the special prayer that daddy says to remember grandpa" or if was just one of those things that make up the process of grief.

It sounds strange to say that I miss him but that seems to be the closest I can get to putting in to words how I feel. I feel a space that should be filled, a presence and na influence that is no longer there.

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