Are you alright?

Well the simple answer is no. My mum has cancer and it's going to kill her, not this week or next (I hope) but this is what is going to do her in at the end and I'm scared, I'm not ready for this. To or not watch her going through more and more chemo to suffer and fade is to watch my dad living through it with her.
My dad doesn't laugh or smile, he puts everything on hold, won't commit to anything without a caveat of "but it depends on mum". I could almost deal with my mum and the cancer and all that crap if  I didn't have to deal with my dad too.

And on top of all this Aaron is just being I don't know what. Now I will agree that I may be slightly hormonal but give me a break, I'm 6 months pregnant. So every time I want to sort something out that usually involve spending money he gets all tetchy about it. I ask him if he's spoken to the person in charge of the keren hishtalmut fund and no he never has and then gets cross about it, When I want to discuss plans for decorating or cars or really anything he just isn't interested or says not now or comes out with some other excuse not to discuss it.
I'm still not convinced he wants this kid but the fact is he knew I was off birth control,  I had already got pregnant once in the summer and then miscarried so it's not like me getting pregnant should have been such a shock. I can accept that he is worried about the finances but he is yet to show any actual excitement about this baby. He seems to be ignoring the fact that I'm pregnant and maybe not as able to do everything as I normally can.

I feel alone and unsupported. I can't complain to my mum because she's got enough to deal with, I can't relax with my dad because he's so tense about my mum and I can't talk t my husband because he always tries to put me off or else he's got work to finish or catch up with or sort out or something.

I need someone to tell me  that I don't have to cope with this by myself. I need someone to let me take a break. I need someone to help me.  Ineed someone to let me have some time to be me.