spirituality

We went to the old city and the kotel toady fro yom yerushalaim. I had a really nice time, the weather was great, the kids were having fun and it was just a very pleasant afternoon and then we got to the Kotel. I went down with the kids then my husband took them down to the actual wall whist I waited with the baby. I looked over to the womens section and it was about 6 or 7 deep at the wall, I just couldn't be bothered even trying to get down there so I went off to wait for the others.
Whilst I was waiting I began thinking about the Kotel and some of the discussions I've had in class over the last few days. I watched a continual flow of happy people heading down to the Kotel. I wished just for a moment that I could be one of them. That I could share the belief I heard expressed in school of the centrality and holiness of the Kotel, that it is a special place.
I have never been a great fan of the Kotel. When I first saw it aged 11 I remember being underwhelmed by it. On my year off I reduced it to my theory of people davening to the wall and not to hashem, that the wall had become the focus and we were losing the connection to hashem. Over the years the levels of discrimination I perceive at the kotel have grown as the facilities for women have shrunk.
Why do I have to make it so hard for myself? Why can't I just take the easy way out and say that this is the kotel, the holiest site and here I can connect to hashem I a way I can't anywhere else. Most of the time I am happy that I question things and make my own choices but today I wondered if I just make it too hard. But should I settle for anything less? should I give up just to take the easy route and be comfortable? and I know that I can't.
The girls I spoke to in school all know and toe the party line. Will that happen to my kids? How can I make sure they are exposed to the other opinion? How do I make sure they think?